I'll Love You Forever

Chucky and I depart tomorrow on a cruise to Bermuda. We are feeling torn . . . excited about our trip and sad about leaving our girls. Tonight Emma picked out the book "I'll Love You Forever". if you haven't read it - don't read it for the first time in Target like I did. Because you will surely be crying in Target, like I did! I don't think I've read her this book since I got it two years ago. She cried. I cried but tried not to let her know. I put the book down and we laid in bed for a little quiet time before I left her. The questions started one after the other. Mommy, why did that lady get old and sick and die? Are you going to die before me? Am I going to die? I don't want to die! I don't want you to die, mommy! Why do we die when we get old? Where do we go after we die? I really loved Odie and I want him to come back. I didn't want him to die! When you get old are you going to be sad that you have to die?
You can just imagine that we both needed tissues. I will not be reading that book to her again. After I tried to answer all her questions I told her to think of happy things . . . the pool, Disney World, princesses, Shamu, the beach, going to Nannie's and Ghee and PopPop's for sleepovers. She seemed happier and she was so tired from the day, and from crying, that she just sighed and rolled over, clutching her tissue. I left her room and stood by her door for a minute. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Did I just sugarcoat death? Was I too truthful? Why is my 4 year old worried about dying?
Oh, Emma. I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.